


The Rescue

by GenerallyHuxurious (GallifreyanOmnishambles)



Series: Kylux Animal Welfare AU [11]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Accidents, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Veterinarians, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Birthday Fluff, Cats, Clumsiness, Comedy, Hux is So Done, Kylo Ren is a Mess, M/M, Stupidity, Trapped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 14:39:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11442963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyanOmnishambles/pseuds/GenerallyHuxurious
Summary: Hux just wants to enjoy his birthday with his husband, but Mitaka interrupts his plans with another minor animal emergency. As always Hux has terrible luck.





	The Rescue

**Author's Note:**

> Just some birthday fluff for Bona-Mana

It had been a nice birthday idea, as far as the few things they could both afford and fit into their schedules could be.

A day trip that started with a long winding drive through the country with plenty of opportunities to stop and admire ~~the view~~ each other. Lunch at some award winning pub that let them feel like they were being fancy without breaking the budget. Then a peaceful afternoon wandering the city’s free art galleries and museums. A chance just to be together amongst quiet and beauty without the endless pressure of work.

Kylo had planned to end the day with a genuinely fancy restaurant and a night in a slightly less fancy hotel, but they hadn’t gotten that far. They’d only just made it into the city when Hux’ phone rang.

His husband deflated so dramatically when he looked at the screen that Kylo was half tempted to sling the damn thing right off the roof of the multi-storey car park. Hux had booked today as a holiday six fucking months ago. It was ridiculous.

* * *

 

“What do you want, you tiny mouthed assassin of joy?” Hux asked wearily, his lip curling as Mitaka said something in reply. “Yes, well, it’s my day off, as you well know. I repeat- what do you want? I know it’s only a ‘quick job’, they’re always quick jobs aren’t they? That herd of 147 lost sheep was a ‘quick job’ according to you… Oh yes, I’m sure the phone line cut out so you only heard ‘seven’, yeah, yeah… Why can’t Krennic do it? Or Veers? Or that lazy bastard Ozzel… Really? What, really?!”

Hux did a terrible job of covering the mic while he doubled over laughing. Kylo was 50% sure that was intentional. When his husband turned to him with tears of laughter in his eyes and wheezed, “they all got stuck in the same fucking cattle grid!” Kylo knew it was entirely intentional. Dopheld probably still had them on the other line.

“Fine, text me the details, but it’d better really be a quick job, you git, it’s my fucking birthday!”

* * *

 

The couple who’d called for help were the sort of oddball double act that would have been perfect as a comedy duo in the 80s.

The posh tall one was genuinely wearing a gold lamé jacket, while the short one was wearing blue and white motorcycle gear that was probably older than Kylo- with no sign that he actually owned a bike. If a man in his 70s could even ride any more. This one looked like he probably could but the tall one wouldn’t let him.

They’d lost their cat a week ago, only realise this morning that the animal was trapped on their roof by the chimney stack. Since she had been missing for so long- and wasn’t responding to the usual suggestion of treats- it was assumed that the animal was too weak to come down.

She was called ‘Yub Nub’. Hux really wished pet owners would consider the poor bastards (i.e. him) that might have to shout these names in the event of an emergency.

Hux stood at the bottom of the ladder, staring up at the sad mess of grey fur huddled by the chimney stack. It didn’t move when called, but there was enough rhythmic movement to its back to suggest it was still breathing.

He hoped she was just sleeping and not unconscious. As easy as it might be to get an unconscious cat into a carrier, they always had a better chance if they were conscious, even if they were weak.

“I’ll go up.” Kylo said, moving toward the ladder.

“No you bloody won’t!” Hux replied as he shoved him out of the way. “Remember last time? With Anakin? And the fire brigade? No, I’m the one who’s insured for this job since it came from the First Order, so I’m the one who’s going up the ladder. No arguments.”

* * *

 

Kylo watched his skinny husband climbing the rickety old ladder with a degree of fear that he knew was insulting to Hux.

He could handle himself, he always could in the end, but Kylo had spent enough nights with his hands wrapped around those delicate limbs to know how easily he’d break if he fell.

Hux didn’t seem to be aware of that at all. He was up the ladder and vanishing onto the roof in a matter of seconds despite the heavy cat basket held in one hand.

Since Kylo was holding the ladder steady he couldn’t see the rooftop itself, but he could hear Hux’ indistinct yelling.

It was stupid, but he feared the worst.

He didn’t think before he scurried up the ladder after him.

The backyard wasn’t evenly paved.

Without a footer the ladder lost its stability.

Kylo was just swinging his legs up onto the rooftop when the ladder vanished from beneath him.

It had been old, and wooden, and rotten, and it hit the neighbour’s wall on its way to the ground, where it shattered into splinters.

Hux was glaring at him, his face flushed a vivid pink and a rain soaked teddy bear clutched in his hand.

“Um…” Said Kylo.

* * *

 

“Well, the good news is- the fire brigade **will** come out and rescue us from the rooftop we find ourselves inexplicably trapped on,” Hux began in a voice dripping with sarcasm, “however, the bad news is that - since we got up here of our own free will, and we’re healthy able bodied men with no injuries and no damn cat healthy or otherwise - we have to wait. Because we’re not a priority.”

Kylo was looking at his hands with a guilty expression.

Hux almost felt bad enough to let him off. But it was fucking freezing on the roof thanks to the brisk wind that had made the teddy bear look alive, so he figured Kylo probably should feel guilty for a while longer.

“Any idea how long?”

“Nope.” Hux said. He was turning the teddy bear over and over in his hands. He needed some distraction from the situation or he’d lose his temper.

Kylo turned his head and gazed off to the left. “Shit!”

Trust Kylo to get dramatic. “Don’t worry, it’s to be expect…”

“No, not that, look!”

Hux leaned forward from his perch on the ridge tiles to see what Kylo was pointing at. It was a skylight. All Hux could see for the first few moments was the reflection of the clouds above them, but then his focus shifted and the room beyond the glass came into view.

A fat grey persian cat was watching them curiously from its perch on a desk. It looked like a student’s bedroom, which would make sense for the area.

“Can you read it’s collar?” He asked with a sigh.

Kylo nodded. “Yup.”

“It says ‘Yub Nub’ doesn’t it?”

“Yup yup.” Kylo said with a grin.

“Fuuuuuuck…”

Hux groaned into his hands while Kylo yelled, “Dudes! Your cat moved in next door!”

At least the old men were happy.

* * *

 

Kylo sat on the apex of the roof with one arm draped around Hux’ shoulders to share the warmth of his jacket.

Hux had been dozing against his chest until a few seconds ago when he’d perked up at the sound of sirens.

“It’s not coming this way,” Kylo murmured. “Besides, they wouldn’t have blues and twos for us. Like you said- not an emergency.”

Hux yawned and nodded.

“I’m sorry this isn’t what you were expecting for your birthday,” Kylo continued after a moment. “And I’m sorry it’s my fault.”

He felt Hux shrug. It was genuinely his fault, so what more was there to say.

“Oh I dunno,” Hux said, “The sunset is as nice as anything we could have seen in a gallery.”

“I should probably look,” Kylo replied, “but I’d rather keep looking at you- you’re much prettier.”

That got an inelegant snort of disgust from his husband. “That line would work much better if I didn’t know that your view is restricted to my hair and my knees.”

Kylo laughed. “They’re very sexy knees. Or maybe I was talking to Yub Nub.”

“She’s licking herself, Kylo.” Hux said, giving into infectious giggles. “Unless you’re a real pervert it’s not a pretty sight.” He sighed again and looked around the rooftop. “You know, this is exactly like an art gallery. My life is an art gallery.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, it’s the kind filled with weird modernist performance art. You’re always waiting for it to make sense but it never does.”

“Isn’t that the point of modern art?”

“Probably.” Hux said with another shrug.

“Hey, Hux.”

“Mmm?”

“I’d rather just look at the nudes.”

Hux elbowed him in the ribs, but not all that hard.


End file.
